I want you to take a deep breath and repeat after me: my sexuality is human.

It might be a hard pill for most of us to swallow - especially if we've grown up around aunties in tummy-bearing saris (by the way, werk!) telling us to not wear shorts kyunki log kya kahenge? ("What will people say?")

Before I dive into this, let me tell you that I'm not some brown girl living in a first world, sex-positive country. Nope. Nada. I've spent eighteen years right here living my middle-class life in the humid cesspool that is Mumbai. Sure, it might be one of the more liberal areas, especially in comparison to some less fortunate, rural regions of India - I'm not going to discount that. But I've had my fair share of aunties (and parents, uncles, grandmas, the lady at the parlour, et al) telling me that my body and my sexuality is something I should hide. I believed them for waaay too long for it to be healthy, but better late than never, I suppose. Anyway, before I digress...


This one's for that one girl who probably hit puberty a couple of months ago and is really f$#%kin' confused about her body right now. I want you to know that it's okay to feel what you're feeling. The hair on your body doesn't make you ugly. It's natural. To keep it or get rid of it is your decision. No one else's. That warm, oozy sensation when you see that person you really like? It's not wrong. Wanting to touch yourself isn't inappropriate. It's your body, you might as well explore it. You have every right to. You're not alone, either - we all do it.


For a country that is so damn shy of the word 'sex' or 'masturbation', we sure do indulge in a lot of it. For instance, in 2017, PornHub revealed that female viewers of porn in India increased the most out of all countries, skyrocketing up by 129%. The same report also states that the majority of Indian users on PornHub are aged between 18-24, which is a stark change from the website's global average of 35. The point is, we're all having fun in our bedrooms, but for some reason we refuse to talk about it. Conversations matter more than one might think they would. The lack of them is really not helping the girls across the country who are pushed into believing that their bodies and their sexuality is something they should be ashamed of - not only does it keep them from understanding their own bodies, but it also drives them away from educating themselves on how to have safe, enjoyable sexual experiences.


So ladies, here's my humble request: talk about it. Tell your sister, daughter, friend, girlfriend, or whoever it may be, to embrace it. Love it. Enjoy it.

And, for God's sake, don't let anyone tell you to be ashamed of it.

Image Courtesy
Lana Abie
Ben Hopper